a not so very good year for me but I thank God for it. This year brought me unforgettable moments and memories that both will treasure and mourn forever. I know all of us have regrets in life and wants to take away the pain caused by that regret, but everything in this world is temporary and sooner or later the pain will subside but the memory will last and you know it.
I remember starting this year with hope and love that this will be a great year, but this year tested my strength not only physically but also emotionally. I'll not forget this year. This year is my eye opener for what's really my world and my TRUE life. This what God wants, I'll accept it. whole heartily.
Why this year's been tough for me?
making decision and actions that changed my life forever. I've lost my best friend, the best friend I never had, the meaning of best friend I think it is.It hurts though I understand, I need to understand. I'm tired of blaming who's who, such childish act to blame of losing. just let it out, spill through my tears. Even though i want to blame someone I can't, I don't know where to stand, All I'm thinking was my actions, am I that tactless and careless to hurt someone else's feelings?am I that dumb and stupid to let go the people which I laid importance to?am I that insensitive for them? maybe not, maybe some part of me they didn't understand and did not bother to ask me why this and why that. I was hurt to judge all the way. I have also the heart to hurt and to understand. All this time I've tried to understand the circumstances, spinning choices of life, pushing through hindrances but I guess it's not enough. All I can do is sit and remember those happy times. We're still friends but not as good as that. I think if we'd only try to understand and not underestimate each other, I think we can get along with this and forget what had happen but I guess it's girl's thing to not to put it simpler.We lost and gain, that I understand, but what I don't understand somehow is them?why people keep on judging beforehand?why can't they ask first and not back fire with each other? it emulsifies friendship, denied relationship and undo commitment in other words...useless! I hate the thought of it but I guess I have to deal with it. Deal with the loss and pain.
I remember a line from the song "Telephone" by Lady Gaga and Beyonce because Beyonce qouted it along the music video,
"Trust is like a mirror, you can't fix it if it's broke but you can still see that reflection even though it's broke"Yes, it's true but a really hard one to cope up. So before this last day of 2011 ends.
Enough Sorry's and Goodbye's. Just Hello's and Hi's
Hoping for a great 2012 :)
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